When all is said and done
by Gavin A. Branson
Summary: Cmdr. Shepard has saved us all, twice. The Reapers are gone and the galaxy is secure... so now what?  Speculative 'epilogue' for the ME saga, following my own Shep and his crew/allies as they chart a course through a safe ish  future. rated T for language
1. Under Starlight

**Hi there, everyone! Just a little note up here. This is an action-light story, I have no plans to include battles or even fistfights in this story, so those of you who came looking for explosions and Shepardly gung-ho heroism, sorry to dissapoint. Also, I have no DLC for either game, so don't expect to see any expansion characters, items, vehicles or features. Strictly vanilla, release content here, with one caveat that I'll let you spot for yourselves, virtual cookies will be awarded for correct answers in your review (apologies to TheRev28 for shamelessly pinching that strategy).**

**Also, this is my first Fanfic, and it lives or dies on your feedback, so if you want to see more tell me! I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. So, without further ado, take it away, Shep!**

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><p>As the final echoes of the gunfight died away and the corpse of the terrorist lay pooling blood around itself and more than a dozen others, Commander Shepard rose from his crouch and frowned at both himself and the situation.<br>"Sorry, but you were a threat to galactic stability, and I have certain duties..." he rationalised out loud, before pulling himself back to the situation at hand. "Jack, Legion, any injuries to worry about?" He asked, slapping his assault rifle back onto it's magnetic holster.  
>The human species' most notorious biotic stepped from the shadow of the massive (and very definately broken) mech she'd been sheltering behind with an elated grin on her blood-spattered face.<br>"Nah, nothing worth cryin' over. Damn, but you'd think with all the money he poured into security this might have actually been a challenge..." Shepard wondered about that. Could he and his crew even conceive of defeat anymore? If he lost his way, chose to overthrow the Council and rule the galaxy as a dictator, get it all done his way first time with no arguments, could anyone stop him? Would anyone even bother to try? They were disturbing questions... he decided he'd rather not know the answers.  
>"Self diagnostic reports several minor chassis fractures and a number of damaged sub-systems, Shepard Commander. Autorepair protocols are in operation, lasting damage will be negligible." Again his team forced his mind back into the here-and-now.<br>"Good. Let's get out of here before Cerberus' techs reboot the surveillance systems and discover what's been going on up here for the past half-hour." Shepard took one last look at the vast, self-aggrandizing chamber he'd only ever seen before in holo-conference, taking in the arrogant beauty of the churning blue star boiling and illuminating the immaculately dressed cadaver of his latest kill before turning on his heel and leading his comrades away. He didn't notice the smouldering, half-smoked cigarette he crushed under a booted foot as they left.

Another threat down, another daemon buried. Not much left to do now, soon he could relax and enjoy total victory. He was almost done being a soldier, and the end couldn't come soon enough.

"Ryan Shepard, holder of no less than fifty decorations including the Star of Terra, awarded by the Alliance and all the other Council species, Champion of Elysium, first human member of the Special Tactics and Reconnaisance branch of the Citadel Armed Forces, Hero of the battle of the Citadel, destroyer of the Reaper threat, saviour of humankind and the galaxy in general" Major Ellison's voice flowed out across the camp, rolling like distant thunder, always quiet but never inaudible, thanks to amplifiers and hidden speakers " is an inspiration to each and every man and woman serving the Alliance, in government or the forces, groundside or fleet." These words really didn't need saying, more than half the 25,000 or so recruits he was adressing would never have enlisted but for the tales of Shepard's heroics. Humanity was finally starting to step up and build a navy worthy of a Council species "But I can tell you from personal experience that he is also very much a living, breathing man who bleeds and breaks, just like you. His example is one that goes beyond exemplary, but it is one you can aspire to follow..."

Many thousands of light years away, the crew of the Normandy that were not on duty were gathered around a holographic screen in the mess, all hoping to catch a glimpse of Sarah Williams during her passing-out ceremony. Sat smack-bang in front of the image was her eldest sister Ashley, flanked by other members of what the Normandy had come to call 'the ground team', at least, the seven who had remained with, or returned to, the ship after the Reapers were finally and decisively defeated. Massed behind them, mostly about the mess-table, were the other off-duty crew.

"Hey, there she is! All right, sis, way to show 'em girl!" Ashley practically jumped from the floor when she spotted the image of her sibling among the crowd, spooking Garrus, who had been sat attentively listening to the Major's long-winded speech, chuckling occasionally.  
>"Gah! Spirits, Ash, don't do that to me..." he sputtered, leaning back and looking at her with wide eyes, his mandibles twitching.<br>"Oh, sorry lizard-features. Feeling a little jumpy today, are we?" Ashley grinned mockingly. Since their original campaign together Ashley and Garrus had come to be good friends, although Shepard's influence was undeniable there. Garrus was one of the Commander's closest confidantes and Ashley was currently wearing an engagement band Shepard had kept in his equipment locker for more than five months before he could gather the courage to propose to her.  
>"Both of you, please! He's getting to the part about how Shepard always found time for anyone in trouble, it's my favourite section of the adress..." A semi-synthesized and heavily accented voice rose from the extreme left of the huddle, and Tali, who was sat cross-legged with her head resting in her hands, found herself the object of everyone's attention. For those who knew her well it was fairly obvious that she was suddenly very self-conscious and uncomfortable with the scrutiny.<br>"And how did you manage to acquire a copy of today's speech, Tali? Things of that nature tend to be rather heavily defended and encrypted. After all, it's of galactic importance that a passing-out ramble remains secret." This half sarcastic inquiry issued from the other side of the ground team's gathering, from Miranda Lawson, who cocked an eyebrow towards the end.  
>"I, uh, that is..." Tali looked from face to face before straightening. She wouldn't let herself look intimidated by or, ancestors forbid, outdone by Miranda "I came across it while I was doing Shepard a favour. Spectre business, you know." Now she almost looked smug, if you knew what to look for.<br>"Is that so? Well, I'll have to quiz you about that later, miss Zorah." Ashley said, turning back to the holoscreen with a frown.  
>"Sorry, but that's not going to happen Second Lieutenant." Tali stressed the rank "Shepard's actions as a Spectre are his own business. I'm sure you know that not even other Spectres are cleared to read his files or interrogate his agents." Tali's manner became slightly haughty and she lifted her chin as if to prove the point of her statement.<em>'You're not getting to me either, Ms. Williams!'<em> She thought to herself, deliberately using the human's surname instead of any official title, in her own head at least. As far as Tali was concerned Ashley had become far too bossy and self-satisfied recently. And everyone knew why... well, she wasn't letting little miss Horizon think she could just assume command while Shepard was away, engagement ring be damned. No, the second human Spectre needed reminding that there were people around who'd stuck with the Commander through the dark days of Cerberus oversight while she was off being childish.  
>"Damnit, I was hoping you hadn't gotten around to reading that little bit of the Spectre Handbook yet..." Ash trailed off, defeated for now.<br>Jacob wisely remained quiet as the ladies bickered, contenting himself with a shake of his head. There had been a... tension between the three of them ever since they'd been united aboard the Normandy and even Shepard's proposal to Ashley, while causing a sensation aboard the ship, did nothing to ease it, in fact they seemed to be more antagonistic with eachother than ever. Of course they had been very careful and polite about it, but it was still getting worse, and would probably continue to do so right up until the wedding itself. Even then there was still the remote possibility that one or another would do something stupid on the day, if they didn't get it into their heads that Shepard's decision had been made years ago. He wasn't keen on that idea and had been queitly trying to keep the peace, for Shepard's sake. After all he'd done for everyone he certainly didn't deserve that.  
>Jacob noticed that, while he'd been thinking, they'd stopped sniping at eachother <em>'Now or never Taylor, time to change the subject quick'<em> he thought.  
>"I'm willing to bet that from now on the Williams' will be in demand." Jacob tried to distract them all from their rivalry and fill the silence. No-one replied, but at least they didn't seem about to start up their private war again. He began to wonder, not for the first time, why Shepard had gone to the effort of recruiting Miranda and himself again. They had re-joined the crew after the Commander made it clear to them that their choice was between loyalty to himself or the Elusive Man. Jacob had given the matter about two seconds' thought before he signed up, but Miranda had tried to argue Cerberus' corner for a full minute before she gave in to the inevitable and reluctantly betrayed the shadow organisation. Jacob thought that the betrayal was less reluctant than she made out, but he supposed she had to at least keep up a pretense of resistance, for appearances if nothing else.<p>

"...which is why I know each and every one of you will make me proud. It gives me great pleasure to welcome you, the new cadets and privates-third-class of 2188, into the service of..." The speech was apparently coming close to a conclusion, although you could never be entirely sure when it came to military self-congratulation.

The blue visage of E.D.I. sprang into existance from a nearby platform and the shipboard A.I.'s calming monotone voice slithered over the sound of the holoscreen.  
>"I have just received a burst from Commander Shepard's shuttle. He has arrived at Jakarta station and Jeff is making final adjustments for the jump. I estimate our CO and his mission team will be back aboard the Normandy in approximately two hours." There was a chorus of variations on the theme of 'thanks EDI' from all assembled, and her 'head' dissolved back into the projector.<br>"Is it just me that gets nervous knowing she can pop up anywhere, anytime and has full run of our boat's systems?" A thick, scottish accent announced that Ken Donelly had something to say, not that that was surprising to anyone.  
>"For crying out loud, Ken! She saved all our lives, are you still that afraid of our A.I.? If Tali can get past her being a machine, not to mention Legion, can't you?" Gabby shot back.<br>"I'm not afraid of her exactly, it's just... machines break down, that's all. One little logic function goes wrong and then ***schlooa-ourk!***" Ken made a comical sucking noise "the airlocks are open and we're all swimming in the vacuum without the benefit of suits."  
>"Ahh, don't worry," Ash waved a hand dismissively "Joker can handle her..."<p>

On what he liked to call the bridge Joker, bathed in a gentle orange luminescence that bounced from every polished surface of the control stations, ran some calculations and came to the same conclusion that he had for the past fourteen times. He liked to be sure of himself when it came to making transit through the relay network, his pride and reputation hung on consistant excellence.

"You must be aware that those figures are correct, Jeff, there is no need to check them again." EDI commented quietly.  
>"Better safe than sorry, old girl. Besides, I can't help feeling I'm missing something small..." Joker replied, barely slowing as he reviewed their planned approach vector, speed, effective mass, internal hull temperature and a dozen other factors almost subconsciously.<br>"Of course not, Jeff. You are the best pilot in the known galaxy, and I am close to perfect as a navigator and copilot." EDI's statement was absolutely without a trace of conceit, but Joker decided to keep the banter up anyway. Somehow it helped him think.  
>"Pride comes before a fall, but thanks for the compliment. I'll remember it when the Commander gets home, give us something to tease you about."<br>"You are so cruel sometimes, Jeff." Somewhere along the road EDI had picked up what seemed to pass for a sense of humour.  
>"You love it." Joker said offhandedly, already laughing inside hard enough for several people. Of course he wasn't going to tease her, he'd let her stew until she forgot about it... and then maybe. Or perhaps he'd leave it a year or so, then work it into something. He always liked to keep things like this filed away in his head in case he needed a snappy comeback or a spur-of-the-moment one-liner.<br>Then he spotted something on one of the screens that flanked his station. _'well ain't that interesting...'_ he mused before making his decision.  
>"EDI, give me bridge gunnery 2, please." the screen to his far right seamlessly melted into his main panel, and he ran some new calculations, his attention frequently flickering to the appropriated readout.<br>"Bet you a defrag against two hours of extra bunk time I can bring us in to Jakarta half an hour ahead of schedule."  
>"Gambling is prohibited aboard Alliance vessels, Jeff, but I will take your wager if the stakes are immaterial."<br>"Aww, you're no fun! Alright then, we play for pride."  
>"Pride it is Jeff, make your play."<br>Joker adjusted his sitting position a little, sat right back again and pulled the brim of his cap down. A wan smile played across his face.  
>"I'm gonna need full manual for this, and tell everyone to brace themselves, in about five minutes..."<p>

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><p><strong>Well, how'd y'all think I did? Was it good, was it bad? Did you just read to the end 'cos you have insomnia? Sorry it was short, but like I said, this is my first try and until the story proves itself it's on life support and chapters will be... less than epic in their length.<strong>

**Please review, particularly if you want to see the rest of what I have in draft written up properly, and keep reviewing if you want me to write a second 'book'. **

**Lastly, thanks for reading this far, and hopefully I'll see you all at the next chapter!**


	2. The price of Fame

**Hey there, folks. Good news is that I've got enough feedback to continue, bad news is that what I've already written up is kinda limited. As in, don't expect this to be much longer than chapter 1, if it is longer at all. Thanks to all the anonymous subscribers (you know who you are) as well as my three (count 'em) reviewers! I was teetering on the edge of not continuing with this story, but I thought, what the hell, It's only two more chapters and updating puts you at the head of the list!**

**More to come if you approve, but once again, Shep gets to lead us in. So, once again, and this time with feeling...**

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><p>Since Jakarta was an Alliance station it was nearly impossible for the team to go unnoticed, not that Shepard tried. Down every corridor there was someone to nod and smile to, at every junction a hand to shake or an autograph to give, and it wasn't just the Commander, either. Jack had been given a blanket amnesty by the Council for services rendered and was now having to deal with a fandom of her own, particularly among L2 biotics and others who felt she somehow represented their own struggle against opression or abuse. Even Legion found itself exchanging a few words with technophiles and the occasional Quarian that appreciated it's part in brokering the Geth Armistice. It took a full hour to make the half-mile journey from the shuttle hangar to the lounge set aside for the group. As soon as they arrived, Jack collapsed into a couch with a groan.<br>"Shit, I thought that would never end! Why'd they all think I 'feel their pain'! Never bring me here again, Shepard, or so help me I'll pop your goddamn head."  
>Shepard grinned as he wandered over to the window which gave a panoramic view mostly composed of stars and black.<br>"I'm proud of you, Jack. It wasn't more than a few months ago you would have popped more than just one head already." He stated with his back to her. He found it easier to talk to Jack without looking directly at her these days. Looking her in the face made him feel like anything he said would be wrong, like the whole damn galaxy was wrong and she was the only one that could see it properly. "Besides, you're going to have to get used to this. You're not just a shadowy legend anymore, you're a confirmed heroine, and people are going to think you're all nice and approachable like me by association. It's not just Jakarta, anywhere you go there'll be someone wanting to talk to you... I haven't had much personal space since Elysium." His mind went to Conrad Verner for a second, the Earther had certainly proved himself when the Reapers made their opening assault on the human homeworld.  
>Jack groaned again and slumped deeper into the couch.<br>"Fuckin' great, someone shoot me now."  
>Legion had been stood by the door unmoving since they'd reached the room.<br>"We know you will adapt," it spoke up "biological life-forms have a remarkable resistance to psychological pressure, and you have already displayed great mental resilience. We believe that you will learn to deal with your fame faster than you could believe.  
>Jack replied with an insulting hand gesture and derision.<br>"Oooh, thanks a ton, scrap-for-brains, I really needed another therapist. Bad enough I gotta deal with that Chambers woman every thursday and Shepard here whenever we go anywhere together." Shepard decided it was worth the risk to join her on the couch.  
>"I could just leave you in engineering where it's nice and dark and nobody ever bothers you." He shrugged.<br>"Don't even joke like that, you asshole! I'd lose it inside a week. I hate to admit it," Jack was now the one avoiding eye contact, she turned away slightly in the seat and wrung her hands " but I think I actually need people. I get all angry and paranoid when there's no-one around to swear at..."Jack's expression softened slightly as she looked back at her comrade. 'Please don't be my friend right now...' she... felt.  
>"Then I was right and there's hope for you yet." Shepard reclined, hoping she'd open up further if he took a more casual stance.<br>"Fuck you, Shepard." Jack got up and headed for the minibar, not needing to look for it since the Alliance built all their VIP lounges the same way. She always knew what to expect with alcohol, getting a drink was as good an excuse as she could come up with to end that little talk, and she suddenly couldn't stand the man 'Fuck you for making me care' she added mentally, not able to say it aloud.  
>Shepard wasn't sure whether he'd made his point or just pissed her off, but if she was headed for the bottle he'd certainly struck home. Suddenly his earpiece buzzed, and he put two fingers to it, holding the 'transmit' button down. After a few seconds he released the device and spoke again, over the clinking of the bottles Jack was pulling out of the minibar.<br>"Don't drink too much, Jack. EDI told me the Normandy will be here in about an hour." again Jack answered by throwing a hand-swear at him. She was doing that a lot lately. Well, more than usual. Shepard hoped that was a good sign...

On the Normandy a duty shift was about to change, so the back ranks of the huddle around the holo-screen were thinning, besides, they'd all seen Shepards future sister-in-law. The ground team were, of course, still watching as Ellison started handing out little strips of metal and big bits of paper to those who'd excelled in their training. They were talking now, though, since the main attraction was past.  
>"You should have seen his face when I pointed it out to him, it was priceless." Garrus was talking to Ash about her ring. Since Shepard had no family the band had been brand new. "I don't know whether he thought it was perfect or that it was too cheap, but he had this look, like he was trying to swallow a Varren whole!" Ash slapped him on the back.<br>"He did, huh? Hmmmm, well anything with a huge rock in it would've been a pain in the ass out in the field. Besides, I'm not a girl who's impressed by glitter, but this is a good thick piece of jewellery that'll last a while."  
>Tali decided that she should go down to engineering and make sure everything was running smoothly. It was about all she did these days and she'd seen all she wanted to up here, anyway. She quietly excused herself and crabbed her way past the huddle, hoping to follow Ken and Gabby into the lift, unnoticed by the rest of the ground team.<br>EDI's hear appeared for the second time in a dozen minutes.  
>"Jeff wants you to all be aware that you should brace yourselves." Miranda had spotted Tali and was getting up herself.<br>"Whatever for, EDI?" She asked, still halfway stood.

Suddenly, Aft was up and Fore became down. Everyone had the familiar feeling of decellerating out of FTL transit, except it was so strong that half the crew had to take a long step away from the drive core to steady themselves. Then, just as that sensation passed and their sense of direction began to orient again, starboard felt like the direction to fall. Miranda, who'd just barely kept her footing after the first transition, completely lost her balance and fell sideways into Jacob. He managed to catch her, by a whisker, and stumbled backwards into the partition wall between the main deck and the Infirmary with a thunk.  
>"That it would seem." EDI finished, before disappearing again.<br>"...I" Miranda stated with icy-cold certainty in her voice " am going to break every bone in his body below the waist. With a toffee hammer." She removed herself from Jacob's presence, dusted off and adjusted her suit in a theatrical attempt to regain her dignity, and headed towards the lift, fully intent on taking a car full of people who wanted to go down up by one floor, just so she could have a word with their pilot.  
>"Yeah, I'm fine, thanks. Not a problem, any time." Jacob called after her as she left, knowing full well that if he was ever going to get a thank you or an apology it would be after she'd yelled a Joker.<br>Dr. Chakwas poked her head around the corner, her uniform covered in soup and croutons.  
>"What on Earth is going on? Are we under attack? I didn't get a warning for evasive maneouvres."<br>"Looks like Joker found a new route for us, Doc. Miranda's going to speak to him." Garrus took his hand, with which he'd steadied himself, off the floor and scowled a little.  
>"Right, well tell the damn yank that he owes me dinner..."<p>

Jack didn't have much time to drink the beers she picked out, it was less than half an hour later that they were notified that the Normandy was through the system's relay and would be docking in a few minutes. It was all they could do to get to the main dock before Joker brought the ship in. Jack took the remaining bottle with her, and damn any security that tried to take it from her, not that anyone did, thankfully. The three of them arrived just as the Normandy was making it's final approach. It seemed that Joker had spotted them because the airlock was half open before the docking clamps had maglocked the ship into it's berth.  
>"Moreau Lieutenant has been impressively prompt. We were under the impression that the Normandy would be in transit for no less than another half-an-hour at least." Legion commented, giving the closest he'd ever come to a straight-up compliment for their helmsman.<br>"Could've given me time to finish my drinks..." Jack grumbled, taking another swig to emphasise her point. She'd cooled off a little, but was still looking for someone to be angry at.  
>"What, you wanted to stay here longer? On a space-station full of people who think they know you well enough to stop you in the corridors and chat?" Shepard looked at her over his shoulder, but the biotic just shrugged and pushed past him to board their travelling home. She wasn't exactly eager to get into a conversation right now, especially not with him. Legion and Shepard shared a look for a moment, then followed her.<br>"We know it is a long and painful process, but we believe you are making progress with rehabilitating her, Shepard Commander." it said, just before decontamination began. Shepard really hoped the Geth were right.

"Hey hey, Commander, good to see you again! It's been kinda quiet without you around, I've almost got used to not being bothered and distracted from my job." Joker seemed quite pleased with himself.  
>"Hello, Joker, you made very good time. Confused Legion and annoyed Jack, mind telling me how you did it?" Shepard raised an eyebrow.<br>"Jeff found an uncharted gravity well en-route that allowed him to reduce our transit-time to the relay by 36%." EDI offered.  
>"Really? Well, I hope you logged it on the Alliance charts. If it's big enough to be useful in navigation it could do some serious damage to a ship that passes too close in FTL."<br>"Yeah, yeah, I got it. Geez, you'd think I was fresh out of the academy or something..." Joker waved his hand in the air in mock irritation. "Everyone else probably wants you to interrupt their work too." Shepard recognised that his helmsman was gently encouraging him to move on. Probably wanted to make sure of that new gravity well, double-check it was logged properly...  
>"You're right, I should go." he excused himself to both Joker and EDI, before walking the length of CIC, nodding to crewmen at their station and marvelling at the ship, it was amazing that the Alliance hadn't yet made the Normandy's basic design a whole new class of warship. He slowed as he passed the Galaxy map, which was rotating, barely, and glowing with little pinpoints of colour marking out the relay network and all the inhabited planets and space-stations. He stood beside his Yeoman and cleared his throat to announce himself to her.<br>"Good afternoon, Commander. No new messages for you, but Lieutenant Williams wants to talk to you, when you have the time. She's waiting in your quarters." Kelly said, turning from her console and brushing her fringe out of her face. Ashley had moved into Shepard's quarters as soon as the Reapers had been defeated but went straight back to having her own room as soon as he'd proposed. Kelly had found her sudden attack of propriety odd, the two of them had shared his bed for months and then as soon as their involvement with each other was official she decided to go all old fashioned? Kelly had a few ideas about why the Citadel's second human Spectre had done that, but it was still a bit nonsensical. "Glad to be back, Kelly, I've missed you all while I was away." Shepard replied, prompting a smile from Kelly. Ash wanted to speak to him? That wasn't unusual, but she didn't usually go through Kelly to get his attention, and she should have known that he'd go looking for her as soon as he was back aboard, so either he was in deep trouble with his fiancee, or something official had come up. Either way she wanted to be absolutely sure he'd see her first.  
>"Do you have any idea what Ash wants to talk about?"<br>"Afraid not, sir." Kelly frowned "Actually, now that I think about it, it might have something to do with some of your ground team..." She trailed off, unwilling to finish the sentence, hoping he'd know what she was talking about.  
>"Don't make me give you an order, Kelly, what are you thinking?" Shepard crossed his arms and put on his best authoritarian look. If this was important he wanted to be as well informed as he could be.<br>"Well, I'm sure you've noticed that Tali and Miranda have been a little standoffish with her and each other since you announced your engagement?" Kelly looked uncomfortable, she clearly didn't want to be a gossip. Shepard sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.  
>"I thought this was all straightened out. I talked to all the ladies individually about this and I had really hoped that would settle the matter once and for all... I'm glad that at least you and Jack took it well." Kelly smirked at his discomfort before schooling herself.<br>"You let me down very easily, Commander, and Jack's not exactly easy to read at the best of times, but I think the other two feel some sense of entitlement. Tali because she's been with you pretty much from beginning to end and Miranda because of her... her medical work on you." 'As far as she's concerned, you'll always be Project Lazarus, her project', she almost added this aloud, but that would have simply confused him, ever the simple soldier, so she settled on smiling again "You really don't understand women, do you?"  
>"I thought I did, now I'm starting to doubt myself. I hope Liara doesn't cause any prolems on Kahje... speaking of Kahje, when can we expect everyone else?" Shepard clearly just wanted to change this uncomfortable subject, but Kelly knew better than to try and drag the conversation out.<br>"Dr. T'soni is making her own way, as you know. Wrex and Grunt are inbound, should be here by tomorrow morning, Mordin will arrive later today and Samara will be rendezvousing with us on Omega about three days from now."  
>"And Kolyat? Did he get his leave?" Shepard asked, worried for the young Drell, considering the reason for this reunion.<br>"Yes, he sent me confirmation that C-Sec has given him a week of personal time. Liara will be picking him up from the Citadel on her way to the funeral." Shepard smiled, if only Kolyat knew he'd be sharing his ride to Kahje with none other than the Shadow Broker herself.  
>"Thanks, Kelly, keep me posted if anything changes." He turned and headed for the elevator.<br>"Will do, Commander."

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><p><strong>Like I said at the top, not spectacular in length, but this is developed from a mostly-complete draft that I thought no-one else would read. Next week (and I think this will be weekly) we'll get an insight into Ryan Shepard's relationship with Second Lieutenant Williams, along with a few other things. Please bear with me as I get used to the idea of writing for an audience who don't instantly know precisely what I'm thinking (I.E. other people).<strong>

**Like I said last time, your responses are this fanfic's oxygen, 'cos I'm such an insecure writer, so review if you want more. If not, it dies, man. It DIES!**

**Seriously, though, I hope you've enjoyed so far, and if you want more please encourage me (I'm very lazy and unsure of myself, so help me make it better for my audience!)  
><strong>


	3. You know me

**Hi there, folks! Sorry for the wait and all, but I've been having some real problems w/internet and also with writing. Would you believe this one took me five complete re-writes? Anyway, for anyone still reading, WaiSaD is still alive, just. This is the last chapter that I've had in draft form, so from here on out it's all seat-of-my-pants stuff. Remember that this is still here purely so long as I'm encouraged to continue (hint hint).**

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><p>Shepard stepped out of the elevator car into his quarters and headed straight past his collections and into the 'bedroom', where Ashley was waiting on the couch, sitting with a mug of coffee in hand and a holopad on her lap. Her hair dangled down over her face while she read. Probably poetry, Ash had never been a big reader on the whole, but she made an exception for poets. Shepard had preferred her hair up, but then, when they were together back on the old ship it had been the springtime of their relationship when protocol and professionalism kept them more distant than either of them would have liked. Maybe he still associated her wearing a tight military bun with a sense of mystery and gentle sexual tension. He wondered for a second whether he should ask Kelly about that before he realised he was putting things off. A bad habit of his, thinking about anything other than dealing with personal situations. Thank God he didn't do that on missions.<br>'There I go again,' he thought 'just get on with it you fool, what's the worst she can do?' He then invisioned the worst she could do, and almost backed straight up into the elevator. The irony of it! He, Commander Shepard, who'd faced down aliens marauders, criminals and genocidal synthetics, usually outgunned, always outnumbered, couldn't face the wrath of his wife-to-be? Not in this lifetime...  
>"Hi, honey, I'm home." Shepard announced. He knew it was cheesy, but he'd never been very inventive unless he was mad, and it had been a long time since Ash had given him reason to come up with something fresh and original. "Kelly tells me you've got something to discuss with me?"<br>Ash looked up from her reading and put her coffee down.  
>"Funny, usually you give me a few minutes of chatter before you get to the point, Ryan. This isn't anything big, just a personal grumble."<br>"Then why did you have my Yeoman pass along a message to meet with you? Are you getting insecure, or is my time really at that much of a premium these days?" Shepard sat down beside her. He had the feeling this could get complicated, and he was still worried he was going to have a few more very awkward conversations before he would just be left alone with her for a while. The fact that she'd sent an official message along over a *personal grumble* did not bode well.  
>"I'm worried for you, skipper. Ever since we got engaged you haven't taken me with you to any of your little distractions, and you've been sidetracked from getting us to Thane's funeral four times. I didn't really know him, but he was a friend of yours and I thought you'd want to be on Kahje by now." So that's what all this was about. "I know either of us can keep the other out of their own business for security reasons and all the rest of it, but we're supposed to be a team." She rested a hand on his knee and looked him right in the eyes, demanding his attention "Talk to me."<br>"I thought you'd want the time to pick out your dress. Or are you going to wear a suit?" Shepard tried joking with her to lighten the mood, but he knew it was a mistake the moment he said it.  
>"Damn it, Ryan don't try and dodge me! Why won't you tell me what you've been doing? You trusted me with the bomb on Virmire, even though Kaidan was better qualified for the job!" And now she was mad. Shepard was annoyed himself, bringing Lt. Alenko into this was beneath Ashley, Kaidan had been a good friend to both of them and trying to use the guilt Shepard still felt over what had been an impossible decision... that just wasn't like her. If he'd been thinking a little more clearly he might have realised her frustration was making her insensetive, but instead he just flared up, rising to his feet and crossing the room to stand in front of his fish tank so she couldn't just lock his gaze with hers again. That always made him feel foolish and he didn't want to expose her to what he'd been doing over the last few months.<br>"Don't try to use that against me, Ashley!" He was nearly shouting, but he didn't much care " I thought you were past all this, but obviously you're still trying to justify yourself to me, don't you know better than that by now? What the hell do you want me to do? I just needed a tech and a Biotic this time, that's all."  
>"But it's not just this last time, Ryan! Every few days you'll decide to go off with a team, 'one last thing, then we'll have time to ourselves' you say, and I never hear anything about it. Even Tali's keeping secrets for you, which is unfair on her, by the way. What's so terrible about your work that I can't know about it?" And there it was, she'd hit the nail right on the head, as she so often did. For being a simple marine she was scarily insightful sometimes... but then, she wasn't just a marine anymore, was she? As much as Shepard was protective of her she was almost his match in a firefight, had developed a spooky intuition and could quite often get the the heart of the matter more quickly than he himself did. He could blow all the smokescreen he liked about their engagement, Citadel protocols, Spectre privileges and all the rest, but he knew in his heart of hearts that mostly he didn't want her to know that since the Reaper threat had passed he had methodically been murdering his way through a long list of villains he'd come across on his travels, many he felt had simply wronged himself or his crew. He told himself that they were all dangerous renegades who threatened the safety or stability of Citadel space, but deep down he knew it was mostly personal and that frightened him. When it'd just been him, his team and the mission it was so wonderfully simple, at least emotionally. Get in, do the job the best he could and get out. No personal involvement, no guilt, but now he had to ask himself exactly why he was doing what he was doing. Orders had stopped coming in from the Council and Hacket had stopped calling on him for little favours years ago... and the Elusive man was now dead, not that they'd exactly been on favour-giving terms in the first place. So he was left to deal with whatever he felt was important, but was his personal hit-list worthy of a Spectre's time? It had started with Anolies, who had bought his freedom and set himself up as a black marketeer, and snowballed from there. He'd even hunted down Harkin when he broke out of prison, not because Harkin could really be a threat anymore, but mostly because the dumb bastard had been given too many chances and simply refused to learn.<br>"I need you to trust me again, Ryan... whatever you've been doing we'll be married soon and I can't just leave it like this. No secrets between us, that's how it should be, on the big day and from then on." she stood up and followed him across the room, doing exactly what Shepard had tried to avoid, and her eyes bored into his, making him feel like he was six again and his mother had caught him sneaking sweets before dinner.  
>She studied his face for signs of either rising anger or buckling resistance. It was a face she'd unexpectedly come to adore some years ago. Long and squarish with a strong but not harsh jawline and a carefully cut beard that formed a narrow strip from ear to ear, following the contours of his face, detouring around his mouth so that it missed his chin entirely. The hair, which she'd first thought was a bit silly, was cropped close everywhere except at the front, where there was a slightly longer, cowlicked fringe. His green eyes, so striking against the pale skin and red hair that betrayed the long-buried traces of Sottish (or possibly Irish) in his blood, and her favourite feature of his face, his oddly-shaped nose. It was both small and bulbous, sort of rounded in every direction. Ryan hated his own nose, of course, but that was partly what made it cute to her. There was also something that had been missing for a few years now, of course. Ever since Cerberus had brought him back (she could have kissed the Elusive Man when she first found out, but the situation had been strange at the time) his left eyebrow was missing a scar, one he'd told her a drunk Alliance trooper had given him with a glass ashtray when he was on shore leave more than a decade ago, now. She'd jokingly offered to replace it, but she could swear that he thought about it far too long and hard before he turned it down.<br>After a few seconds of scrutiny, Shepard finally realised there was no way to win this argument and gave up.  
>"Ok Ash, you've made your point. I'll give you the files to read, if it means that much to you. Just promise you won't freak out and you'll let me explain before you make too many judgements." He sighed, there were going to be a few evenings of long and detailed probing about his motives, but he ultimately had faith that she'd understand. She may even forgive him for keeping secrets for so long, probably sometime around his nintieth birthday...<br>"Thanks, Ryan, I'm glad this isn't going to be a problem." Ash kissed him gently before taking hold of his right hand "Now that you're here, we're just going to chat for a while. I haven't had a good conversation out of you for weeks." Shepard was just happy that he'd managed to end this without a major incident. The last time they'd argued, properly argued, he'd come damn close to losing a finger. Not her fault, really, he was cleaning up a model spaceship with a craft knife at the time, but still.  
>"Sure, I've always got time for you, Ash. Unless, of course, our job gets in the way..."<br>Ash sighed at him and went back to the couch, pulling Shepard along behind her. She was not to be denied, not now, not ever.  
>"Business before pleasure?" She grumbled slightly, picking up her coffee.<br>"Always." Shepard agreed wearily, joining her again. "So, how long are you going to wear your hair loose?"

"It'll be strange seeing the Battlemaster after so long. I'm going to enjoy this, I've missed Normandy, it was my first home and even Tuchanka isn't the same." Considering Grunt's generally reserved nature Wrex couldn't help but smile at his adopted son's enthusiasm, but reined him in.  
>"Easy now, boy, can't let these Humans see you dancing in excitement. We have a reputation to think about." He rumbled as they made their way along Jakarta's narrow passageways.<br>"Sorry, chief. Sometimes it's hard to control unexpected emotions. I think this one is... anticipation? Or anxiety, I can't decide."  
>"Probably both, boy. 'Scuse me." Wrex replied, turning himself sideways as an Alliance security officer passed, agape. Grunt looked at Wrex with a confused expression.<br>"Never seen you move out of anybody's way, chief." surprise was clear on his voice.  
>"Back home I'm the most powerful man on the planet, here I'm a passing Krogan. I've learned things these past years, one of them is that being polite gets you more than yelling and punching when you're with aliens, particularly Humans."<br>"I'll never understand Humans, or how they turned out someone like Shepard." Grunt mused as they moved on "The man should have been Krogan, we were robbed."  
>Wrex gave this some consideration before he replied.<br>"You think Shepard should have been one of us? I reckon it's better he's Human. Can you imagine the Council appointing a Krogan Spectre? But I know what you mean, I've met clan chiefs with smaller plates than him. Most of them, in fact."  
>The two Krogan rounded a corner and found themselves in the main dock, where the Normandy was the only full-sized ship currently berthed, which made finding her easier than Wrex had feared. Taking a second to look her over, he nodded approvingly. The sleek, sweeping lines and general configuration were familiar, but she was close to twice as big as the original, her armaments were obviously far superior and the hull gleamed with a diffuse, yellow-bronze luminescence. All in all, Wrex thought she was almost worth the old Normandy's destruction and the breakup of the crew. Almost. Damn, but he'd missed those days! The endless supply of idiots who thought guns made a warrior, it had been a pleasure proving them all wrong, even the Krogan they'd faced. Especially them, in fact.<br>"Never got to see the new Normandy when you all visited. I'm impressed." Grunt nudged him with an elbow.  
>"Wait 'til you see the inside..."<p>

"Wish I'd had time left to work on Kepral's, Shepard, but result would be incomplete, mostly conjecture. Worse than useless to any but the most gifted." Mordin paused for a second, inhaling loudly. "Deeply regrettable." Shepard waved off the good Doctor's semi-apology with understanding.  
>"It's not your fault at all, Mordin, I'm just glad to see you again," 'probably for the last time', he added mentally, Mordin had been well into his autumn years when they'd first met, now winter was definately upon the Salarian "I was worried you might not be able to make it." Mordin cocked his head at this.<br>"Referring to my own impending demise, Shepard? Afraid I wouldn't have the strength, maybe? Couldn't miss the chance to see everyone, would have had the nurses CARRY me, if I had to."  
>"I hear you, Mordin, I'm just sorry we don't have a happier excuse for this reunion. I would have liked to see everyone together, all of you, Thane included." He shook his head "But life doesn't work that way, I guess."<br>"There is always the matter of your marriage. Would very much like to see that, have never been to a Human ceremony before."  
>"Perhaps you can stay aboard until then? It's only a matter weeks now, and it's not like the STG will be pulling you out of retirement." This was a happier thought to Shepard's mind. The longer he kept Mordin around the better, as far as he was concerned, he had this horrible feeling that Dr. Solus would be dead before they could arrange another gathering.<br>"Would like that, Shepard, if your physician can spare the time to care for an old salarian, maybe..."  
>Then the sound of the airlock opening echoed down the CIC, which got Shepard's attention, and as he turned to see what was happening another, equally familiar, sound followed it.<br>"Shepard?"  
>"Wrex!" He turned back to Mordin "Sorry, Doc, but I've got more guests to greet."<br>"Of course, Commander. Will make myself comfortable in the lab, in case anyone wants me."  
>As soon as it was polite, Shepard jogged down the length of the room to greet his two favourite Krogan. "Wrex, good to see you, buddy! Grunt giving you any trouble?"<br>Wrex shrugged (quite the achievement for a species whose shoulders and neck were practically one)  
>"I manage, but I don't know how. He was almost skipping down the corridor on the way here." Shepard smirked, turning to Grunt.<br>"He's just not being fair on you, is he?"  
>"Not at all..." the younger Krogan grumbled.<br>"After all, you're not even ten years old yet, you should be allowed to skip." This drew a deep chuckle from Wrex. Grunt opened his mouth in confusion but then realised that Shepard was making fun of him again, something he'd almost forgotten about was the Human tendency to gently mock each other as a method of bonding. Other species did that too, of course, but never as often or as pointedly. He decided to throw something of his own in.  
>"Big talk for a guy who'll be dead long before my wisdom teeth come through." He said, deadpan, causing Wrex's chuckle to drop an octave, with Shepard joining him.<br>"Got to admit, he's got you at your own game there, Shepard." Wrex commented after a few seconds.  
>"Yeah, I think he did, your dry wit must be rubbing off on him." 'Why is death funny in this context? A minute ago I was worried about Mordin's health, but now Grunt jokes about my own lifespan...' Shepard slapped Grunt's shoulder, moving the conversation and his mind away from the topic. "So, do you fellows want to stay in the engineering deck or cargo bay? I had both places prepped, since I didn't know which you'd prefer." he leaned in conspiratorially towards Wrex "Or maybe I should find somewhere in the crew quarters for you? We've got a whole deck dedicated to sleeping spaces, now."<br>"Luxury." Wrex intoned "I remember having our Quarian ally adapt one of your sleeper pods, once. Still couldn't get the damn thing to work right. Probably Human and Krogan brains just don't work the same when it comes to sleep." Wrex made the Krogan shrug-duck motion again.  
>"In any case, you'll probably want to make the rounds and see everyone." Shepard nodded to Grunt "Our boy here knows his way around, of course, but you're going to need a guide to both the ship and it's crew. Let's drop into the science bay, there's someone in there I want you to meet..." As he lead them away to see Mordin, Shepard wondered if the salarian still had that OSD with the cure data on it. It might be useful to Wrex, and Shepard thought that the clan chief was now calm and level-headed enough to use such a gift wisely... a few years of reflection and the renewed perspective of leadership seemed to have made him a lot more thoughtful and open-minded about things like that. If they could just figure a way to make the Genophage prevent conception rather than the development of a feotus' nervous system it would be a massive improvement, make the Krogan feel less persecuted and avoid the constant mental trauma it caused females of the species...<p>

After a further hour the Normandy was back in the big black, headed for Omega and the last pickup.

* * *

><p><strong>Well, that was short, wasn't it? Although I think they're getting progressively longer. Ch.4 will be about twice as long as this one, I swear! I'm looking forward to having everyone in the same place at the same time... should be fun!<strong>

**'Til next time, thanks for reading.**


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